Life

I really have lots of interesting things to say, but I don't have time to post them.  Okay, I should say that I don't have the energy to post them.  Today is a particularly sleepy day.  Up at 4am yesterday, up at 5am today.  Please don't everybody be jealous of my schedule. 

Funny breakfast story

The day after I delivered Ethan, I was waiting on the doctors to come and do their rounds.  They usually arrived bright and early at 5am, but for some reason they were late that morning.  The NICU was closed from 6:30-7:30 and then again from 9-12, so if you missed the window of time in the morning, you had to wait until the afternoon to go and visit.  (They would let you drop milk off though if you were pumping.)  So being the day after surgery, my doctor definitely needed to see me, so I was basically stuck in my room.  He didn't get there until after the window of opportunity to see Ethan closed for the morning, so I was feeling pretty bummed out... so I called and ordered breakfast for the morning and apparently I attempted to make the hospital cafeteria broke as they told me that I couldn't order two different meats, and I just busted out crying on the phone and said fine and that I didn't want anything then.  So I just laid there feeling sorry for myself for a hundred reasons- some completely irrational, but I HAD just been through surgery and a baby that I had barely seen, plus a miserable pregnancy, and etc.  I heard the breakfast cart rolling through the ward, which only made me more miserable because I was starving and I knew nothing was coming for me... but then I heard a knock at the door and someone walked in with a tray.  I was a bit confused considering I told the lady that I didn't want anything, but I figured hey, whatever, I'm hungry.  The nice man sat it down on the table and I almost died from laughing because they seriously brought me every single item on the menu.  Hilarious.  I guess crying on the phone to strangers gets you places in the hospital. 

Pregnancy.

So I'm glad THAT is over.  I can say with every part of my being that I dislike being pregnant.  I dislike the unknowing if your child is really doing okay inside; I dislike gaining 100 lbs; I dislike not being able to do the things that I normally do... and etc.  Now in reality I did not gain 100 lbs, but not being able to cut the grass and stand on ladders really did annoy me a little bit.  I suppose that I don't like limitations with my body and pregnancy does inhibit your activities.

 But the thought of not having more children does make me sad.  And it's not that I physically can't have more children, but rather that I should probably refrain.  There are conflicting studies about long-term maternal side affects of ICP.  Most studies show that there is some risk of liver damage, however minimal... and having to go through that again with two children seems much too overwhelming right now.  Of course it was only for about two months that I was absolutely miserable...

Welcome Ethan Patrick!

Ethan was born on June 16th.  Visit his blog at http://www.ethanpatricksmamma.blogspot.com

I promise to post more when I can!

Baby Baby Gilliland

So I am not intentionally trying to keep anyone out of the loop with the baby.  I really didn't think it would generate so much speculation or concern to be honest!  I do in fact have to deliver early and I am ECSTATIC about that news.  I know most pregnant women are happy to deliver early, but I am especially happy because it means the end to being itchy and miserable.  Of course I want the baby to be healthy, but even if I delivered today at 35 weeks, the chances of the baby having serious complications are pretty small.  So I'll explain the condition and then you'll all be informed and not feel out of the loop. :)

Intrahepatic Cholestatis of Pregnancy (Obstetric Cholestatis):  a rare liver condition that is brought on by pregnancy.  Yes, I had it with Benjamin, but it was diagnosed super late and I was allowed to carry him to term (plus two days to be exact).  The risks are somewhat nonexistent for me, but the risk for the baby could be fatal.  This is obviously the reason why the doctors deliver as soon as the risk for respiratory distress diminishes, which is usually 37 weeks.  If they suspect any other distress from the baby, they deliver immediately regardless of number of weeks gestation.  The classic symptoms are severe itching of the palms and soles of the feet.  It eventually spreads to itching all over and can be quite debilitating for some people.  It was once believed that removing the gallbladder reduced the risk of recurrence with subsequent pregnancies, but this has obviously been debunked in my situation.  (Although I would have had the surgery anyway because gallstones are horrible.)

This time around has been a little easier for me.  Becoming a human pin cushion has not been fun, but that is the only way they can see how your liver is functioning.  My liver enzymes are about ten times greater than normal and the bile salts are above normal, but under the limit in which distress from babies has been noted.  I was prescribed medication that lowers or stunts bile acid accumulation (which is what makes you itch!), and my level is now considered non-emergent.  They still want to deliver early because the bile acid level can triple in a matter of days.  The condition is actually so rare that only two labs in the country are equipped to test the blood and it takes about three days to obtain results. 

Okay, so that's it.  The baby will be okay and I should be fine a couple of days after delivery.  It will be odd having such a small baby though. :)

even more official

So I saw a high risk OB doctor and I am delivering around 36 to 37 weeks.  Sheesh!  I had a feeling this would happen.  The doctor said that I was too calm to have received such bad news.  I suppose sitting around the fretting about it would make it better?  lol... anyway, so I'm going to be a busy bee here for the next couple of weeks.  No, wait, make that months. :) 

And we are still uncertain about names, but we're working on it. 

Round two

So it's back.  Intrahepatic cholestasis of pregnancy.  There are a few websites, but the best one is www.itchymoms.com.  I had some blood work done on Wednesday and the doctor called yesterday and advised me to go to the hospital to get more testing.  Awesome.  I was so miserable the last six weeks when I was pregnant with Benjamin that it is a relief this time to actually have a doctor listen to me and know that I'm not going crazy.  I must admit that I feel a bit robbed of the pleasures of pregnancy and childbirth because of what happened with Benjamin.  Hopefully this time will be better- if nothing else, I will be more prepared for the disappointment than I was last time.  Of course, nothing can be worse than having to labor 31 hours and still end up with a c-section... thousands of miles from home.  So I'm going in this morning to see what they have to say...