unconditional love

Wouldn't it be awesome if we could love ourselves and other people as innocently as children love?  Children love their toys with their whole heart.  They don't care if their toys are scratched, messy, or torn.  When I say that I have the sweetest child on Earth, I'm not biased at all because it's the truth.  No really, let me give you an example:

We went to Michael's yesterday and I looked pretty horrible.  My hair hadn't been washed in days, but I didn't have the time to wash it before we went.  Ethan had just eaten, so we had to go ahead and run out there and do a few errands so I'd make it back home before it was time for him to eat again.  Or so I thought.  We were getting ready to check out and he just started screaming, which is really unusual for him.  The place was packed and the lines were long.  (No idea why everybody in Hampton Roads decided to go to Michael's on a Tuesday morning.)  So of course everybody starts looking at us and Benjamin starts laughing, which is really unusual for him.  He puts his hands on either side of my cheeks and gives me a kiss and says "Mommy, you're beautiful."  I kid you not, this is what he does. 

He still thinks that I'm beautiful with dirty hair, spit up on my shirt, and pants that are a little too tight in the seat. 

Solidifying my size

So I really do want to lose this weird stomach shelf thing I have going on.  I have been talking about it for weeks now, but really, I'm serious this time.  I am going to have to buy all new pants this winter if I don't lose at least 5 pounds.  And don't give me the whole "you had a baby" excuse.  I left the hospital weighing less than I did the day that I found out I was pregnant.  I don't have a baby excuse.  Well, I do have a surgery excuse as to why my lower stomach looks so weird, but not for the rest of me.  I didn't have surgery EVERYWHERE.  Maybe it was all those oreos this summer that did me in... or maybe it's this sugar cookie and tea that I'm having for breakfast today.  Something has to give though because nothing fits me and I refuse and I mean that I flat out refuse to get a bigger size.  I've never been bigger than the size I am now.  Never ever ever.  Getting older sucks.  But on the upside, I am eating more salad now and Benjamin loves salad.  It's hilarious.  We went to chickfila yesterday and I ordered a salad for me and some fries for him and he only wanted my lettuce.  He about ate all the lettuce in the salad, which left me with cheese and chicken.  So I ate his fries.